Lots of good things happening in my life, yet my heart is heavy. A sadness washes over me that I try to explain. To myself, mostly. Then I think, maybe it's that time of year, the holidays approaching. Or maybe my new blood pressure medicine is pulling me down. Then there is my hip that still gives me trouble after surgery a year and a half ago. So many excuses. Real or imagined? I am never sure what I think I am missing or what is causing my blues. I want that spark of joy, of hope, to rekindle. I want to set the world on fire, not the entire world, just my little space in it. In an hour, when I start my day and head out, I will feel the lightness of life around me filling me with hope. But, sitting at home, surrounded with my dogs that are the happiness gurus, I still feel that void. My beautiful house needs more life in it, I tell myself. A huge dining room with eleven foot ceilings and a six foot farm table, await dinner guests I never invite. Friends would come if
I am happy to report I have stayed on my diet since my last post. Eggs for breakfast and some chicken for dinner, or lunch, or in between. Last night could have been my demise thanks to a no-carb fried pork rinds. Munching happily away a tiny little crumb landed in my throat the wrong way. I choked and coughed and then repeated the same for at least an hour. Now I know why my little Chi Chloe kept coughing after her kibble caught in her throat as she tried to avoid another of the pack eating her food. It hurts. It doesn't go away quickly. But it did, and I am hear to moan about the loss of bread and cake in my life. Seriously, I feel pretty good. I am not weighing, but I have a doctor's appointment to check my blood pressure today. We'll see if my choices to lower my weight have raised my blood pressure. Don't care. I am on this diet to see if I can sustain and drop a few pounds. I don't want to be a skinny me, just a healthier me with less fat on my hip