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Ants In Your Pants Better Than Ants On Your Doughnut



Read With Caution - You May Never Eat Doughnuts Again
(And yes, this is my second random thought today. But it had to be shared in the moment!)
 
 
My cup of instant Folgers's coffee, complete with Hazelnut creamer, and, an extra special treat, artificial sweetener, (do I love my poison, or what?) stared at me from my desk as I brought in my morning e-mails. Hungry, but too lazy to whip up bacon and a bagel, I remembered the box of doughnuts I purchased yesterday at Kroger. Nice, plump, chewy cake doughnuts. 4 to a box. $1 a box. I used restraint and only bought one box.
 
Lovingly looking at them late last night, I held off eating one. I knew once I ate one, the other three would follow. What a tasty little breakfast this will be, I thought as I swatted a sugar ant that crawled in my white porcelain sink. Knowing the ants were on a slow move back into my kitchen, I took the sealed box of doughnuts and safely put the box on top of the jar (also sealed) that holds dog biscuits. Feeling relatively safe that my doughnuts were safe, I flipped off the lights and headed for bed. Looking at my dogs in various stages of sleep I smiled. I would have doughnuts in the morning as I fed them their tasty treats. I dreamed of doughnuts as I used to dream of cute boys when I was a young girl.
 
Back to this morning: I headed to the kitchen, visions of doughnuts dancing in my head, opened the sealed box and grabbed a nice plump doughnut. Walking to my desk I put my teeth over a round side and, before I could bite down, felt something crawling on my face. A creepy, tiny crawling like the miniscule feet of sugar ants. I slapped my face, by my lips and cheek, and looked at my doughnut. Little black ants crawled on it. The same ants that still crawled on my face. I doused the doughnut with water, trashed it, and ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. One lone ant crawled up, edging towards my hairline. Kaboom! I slapped my head and the little invader met its demise.
 
I wonder how long it will take me to enjoy doughnuts again? This was a plain cake doughnut, so maybe the image won't transfer to chocolate iced doughnuts, or jelly filled ones. In the spirit of overcoming a bad experience, I think I will give it a try. Chocolate covered doughnuts from Publix, maybe. They will do nicely in the refrigerator. I've learned my lesson about ants. I'd rather be restless with ants in my pants (not literally, but you know that old cliché) than disgusted with ants on my doughnut.
 
I think you'll agree!

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